If you don't know where this crapola all started it was after a woman went to Royal North Shore Hospital (the public side, not the private one across the road) and managed to miscarriage in the waiting room without anyone noticing. Now, i'm well aware that hospitals have their problems, but why the hell didn't anyone notice this? Heck, this woman could have died. Really makes me value the fact that every time i've been to Royal North Shore it's been on the private side of the road (heck, my brother and i were born there. Thank goodness for private health). Anyway, jumping on any chance to whinge (of course it hasn't got anything to do with the election! Mr Abbott is seriously worried about this woman!) the Australian Government came out with the perfect plan. They will wrestle the control of public hospitals off the states and give them to the local areas. Does this mean the local councils? Does this mean that the man in charge of Ryde Hospital will now be Ivan Petch? That man can't stratch his backside without first asking the Australian Government! He is officially the most underworked man in Australia. The only thing i have ever seen him do is skake hands with Howard and random people to have the misfortune of visiting this godforsaken suburb whose main attractions are John Howard and apples that haven't grown here for over 150 years.
But yes, moving on. New report today says that the State Government spends more. Now, surely there can be no comeback for that? And, oh, there isn't. But they tried so hard. Abbott and Costello (oh no, that's not a coincidence people. They are rather funny men!) came out today and, get this for a comeback, they stated that (paraphrasing here) yes, the State Government has increased funding faster but that doesn't mean they have more to offer the public health system. Uh, really? Cos it looks pretty clear cut to me. They've given more therefore they offer more. That's like saying that the American government, while it sends substantially more troops to Iraq than Australia, doesn't actually offer more to the reconstruction of Iraq. Oh, wait, what am i saying? Of course they don't offer more to the people. They only offer more to the petrol pumps.
On a different note a special Friday Fuckwit award (yes, i so stole this from Triple J but they didn't even mention it, they only mentioned the plague) goes to the police and government of Russia who managed to find a group of bodies under the old KGB and are now investigating how they died. Now, that seems simple enough, and much luck to them, but i think the entire population of the world can tell you how they died. They have big gaping bullet holes in their heads. Now i don't know much about Russian bullets and guns but i assume that when they put a big hole in your skull you're pretty much finished. Evidently no one has told the Russians this. Either that or the Russian police are having a very slow day and intend to set up their very own CSI: Moscow. If they're really that bored we should bring them down here. They can arrest Tony Abbott for crimes against comebacks.
Have a good weekend